:: The Freewheelin' Di Winson ::

:: Wednesday, April 28, 2004 ::

The circus is in town today.

Or, rather, it was; I am quite certain they are long gone by now.

I got to see elephants, though, and that's really all that matters. Pictures later, maybe, but right now I can't manage to look up that FTP-coding for when I want to post a pic, and God knows I don't have it memorized!

: )

Just had a nice visit to the Orchard chatroom. I have only been posting over there for about a month-and-a-half, and I have to say: I love it. I adore the people on there, and now I am thinking I seriously should have arranged my schedule to be in Dayton this weekend ... but I didn't.

Got invited to Taft, though, so I'm making plans already!

: )

Had a moment today. I was reading an e-mail from my best pal from college, and she told me she sometimes gets lonely. And she doesn't have that many friends near her. And I wish, oh, how I wish, that she and I could spend an hour together each morning, drinking coffee, and talk about all the things we haven't talked about (and anything else) over the last 17 years because of the time and distance between us.

Isn't it amazing when you realize you have loved someone this long, and that you always will? I am so lucky to have some friends that I have been friends with for years and years, and sometimes when I stop to think about how much they really mean to me ... it sorta simply blows me away.

And makes me realize there's always more I could do, as a friend.

I get so caught up in trivial stuff, sometimes. I get so lost in my head. I totally lose track of time and lose sight of the important things and ... yeah.

But I feel as if I am finding my way back.

And it's springtime.

: )

:: Di 10:47:00 PM [+] ::
...

I missed my 20-year reunion.

Kinda.

Well, we didn't exactly have a 20-year reunion. But if we'd had one, 2003 would've been it. And we didn't, so I didn't actually miss it.

And yet, I did.

And now my sister is talking about HER 20th reunion. Later this year.

I want a new template with a white background. I like photos on white.

(I also like baloney on white. With American cheese and yellow mustard. None o' that Dijon crap!)

My hair is darker now than it ever has been.

I really shouldn't post when I don't have anything to say ...

:: Di 10:38:00 PM [+] ::
...

Piddling

Just fixed my printer. By unplugging it and then plugging it back in again.

What a mechanical mastermind I am!

: )

The L Word(s) for Today: Lounge. Laze. Leisure. Take yer pick.

I "piddled around," as my mother would say, most of the afternoon. Which is pretty much what I needed to do, I have decided, because this was the first day since Friday that I have felt well.

And then the printer fucked up. Which always annoys me beyond belief, and it's never anything too serious (I guess?), but it aggravates me, just the same.

So I left it and went searching for some photogenic clouds but didn't really find any. A few cumulus (sp?) or perhaps nimbocumulus (sp?). And whilst I grocery-shopped, rain began falling, and when I went to my car, I noticed the sun was trying to peep through, so I went searching for a rainbow.

Didn't find one, though.

And I remembered one time, a long time ago in my hometown, for some reason my sister and I were walking on a sidelwalk along Main Street, toward the downtown area (which is pretty much the same as the uptown area), and for the first time in my life, I saw a rainbow that arced (arcked? arched? what the hell word is it?) completely across the sky, forming the perfect parabola or whatever it is that rainbows form, and it looked, to me, kind of like the perfect "Welcome to Our Town" greeting.

But, of course, it didn't stay.

And then tonight, driving home from across town where I ate nachos and did laundry and watched Seinfeld and part of a rather charming movie I've seen before called The Object of My Affection, I saw some crazy lightning streaking all across the southeastern sky. Decided I might try setting up the tripod (got 2 tripods, actually, for my b'day!) but then didn't see another flash the rest of the way home. Wouldn't you know.

:: Di 8:56:00 PM [+] ::
...

5 minutes to spare!

The L Word for Today: Was gonna be late.

But yes, I DID get my taxes done in about 90 minutes this afternoon. Some scoff at a person waiting 'til the last day to do them, but considering that once again, I had to PAY (couple hundred this year, which is better than it's been for the last 4 or 5), what's the rush? Why hurry?

Plus, saying I had to go do my taxes provided a nice reason to stumble out of work just past noon. Which is always a good thing ... even if I DID have to cover a bored meeting tonight.

: )

And no, I am not homonyminally* challenged.

The NEW L Word for Today: Loopy. Although it supposedly means "crazy" or "foolish," when I use it, I mean sort of silly and "out of it," kinda like how I got when I had some kinda reaction to that flu shot one time. And I felt nearly that same way, sorta lightheaded and dizzy and ... well, LOOPY! ... when I got out of bed this morning, so that will be my LWFT.

: )

Yeah. I am loopy.

* — My 2nd invented word in the last 2 days. The 1st being "spleep" ... but I forget the context for that one.

:: Di 12:03:00 AM [+] ::
...

The L Word

So lil' sis gave me tapes of episodes 1 through 10 Sunday morning, and by 11:30 p.m. Monday, I had already watched all 10. Including a few rewinds (heh).

LOVE The L Word.

Not watching? Too bad.

Lemme just say, for the record, that I have never seen Flashdance. Even though my wardrobe, during most of the 1980s, resembled that worn by Jennifer Beals. Well, at least the cut-off inside-out sweatshirts. (STILL enjoy that inside-out look ... mainly because I like that "It was still dark when I got dressed this morning, and I really don't give a fuck if my shirt's on right, anyway" appearance.)

No one believes me when I tell them my Flashdance secret, but it's true. Or ture, as Tee-Hee might say. Never saw it when it played in theaters, and now, every time I see that it's on TV, I always get in on the same part, that final dance scene. And for some reason, I always say to myself, "Oh, cool! I'm finally getting to see Flashdance!" But, alas: It's always that final scene.

Fast-forward to 2004 and Jennifer Beals is portraying the super-cool but Xtremely hot Bette Porter.

Oh.
My.
God.

(I requested the Flashdance DVD for my birthday. Only 5 shopping days left!)

What a show! In 2 short days, I became hooked. Still haven't seen episodes 11 through 13 (season finale), but I will.

Oh, I will.

: )

The L Word for today: Lethargic. As in: I have been lethargic for the past two-and-a-half weeks. (Must be the time change. Or the seemingly endless cloudy gray sky.)

: /

Over the Rhine is playing at Greenville College tomorrow night. Chances are, I will not be going.

Does it make me sound old to say that the thought of getting home after midnight on a Wednesday night — not to mention the approximately 4-hour round trip — keeps me from making a decision to drive up there? In addition to the fact that it's supposed to be an outdoor concert ... and temperatures are probably going to be in the low-50s at best ...

If I were 22, I'd be going. Probably.

:: Di 10:22:00 PM [+] ::
...

News of the Day

This story from Reuters just brought tears to my eyes.

And I am not quite sure why.

Aside from my love of The Little Prince. And the fact that they have never recovered Antoine de Saint-Exupery's body.

France Identifies 'Little Prince' Author's Plane

MARSEILLE, France (Reuters) — A plane raised from the Mediterranean 60 years after it crashed, killing author Antoine de Saint-Exupery, has been identified and will be put on display in southern France, officials said Wednesday.

Saint-Exupery, whose fable "The Little Prince" is considered a classic of flight, love and loneliness, disappeared on July 31, 1944, during a wartime aerial reconnaissance mission.

"The wreck of the plane that was raised last autumn near the Riou island has been identified as the (Lockheed Lightning) P-38 on which Saint-Exupery made his last voyage," said Jean-Claude Gaudin, mayor of southern Marseille.

He said the wreck would be exhibited in a Marseille museum to pay tribute to the writer and aviator who died a year after the book was published.

A French diver discovered the remains of the airplane off the coast of Marseille four years ago, after a fisherman hauled up a bracelet belonging to the author and aviator in 1998.

It was raised from 80 meters (262 ft) last October and, though analysis showed the plane was Saint-Exupery's, it remains unclear why it crashed. The author's body has never been recovered.

Saint-Exupery, born in 1900 to an aristocratic French family, tried several times to study liberal arts before deciding to become a pilot.

As an adult, his passion for flying inspired "Vol de Nuit" ("Night Flight") and in 1943 "The Little Prince," an all-time bestseller about a pilot downed in the Sahara who meets a mysterious prince with whom he makes an interplanetary journey.

Song in my head, right now: "Beautiful Day" by U2.

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could depend on
In return for grace ...

Happy birthday, Cousin Karen!

: )

:: Di 1:59:00 PM [+] ::
...

Humpday

All I can say is this has been a sucky week so far, work-wise.

And I refuse to rant 'n' rave online about anyone, personally or professionally. Just one o' those things I decided, early on, JUST in case anyone I know or have ever known in "real time" (as opposed to "online," although sometimes those 2 realms or universes actually do intersect) stumbles upon this here ... journal or whatever.

However: Let's just say it's rough going back after a week of vacation. A week in which I absolutely refused even to LOOK at a newspaper, including the one I work for. And we all know the week probably would've been better had I hopped in my car and driven somewhere far, far away and much sunnier, but I didn't.

And besides, if I had gone, I wouldn't have had that all-important chat Friday night.

So, all in all, it was a mediocrily (??) good week.

And this week has been kind of a fog. And maybe that's to be expected, since I've always had this Easter-week thing, though I can't say I have been feeling particularly spiritual.

I am having one of those feelings, however, that I am on the verge of something great. And I like that feeling.

: )

Had to smile last night watching Judging Amy when Amy told Lauren about how she used to (and sometimes still does) go to her "parallel universe" where everything would be just the way she wanted it to be. And it reminded me of me and certain times in my life, one time in particular, and also of The Lovely Bones and how every person's heaven is exactly what their own perception of heaven should be.

The Shield, however, was more than just a little bit disturbing.

On a totally unrelated note: My movie guru sent me off to find Soldier's Girl, based on the true story of Barry Winchell, and it was an amazing movie. Beautiful and devastating. A love story.

And finally: I am the only person I talk to (!!) on a regular basis who had any interest whatsoever in watching the NCAA women's basketball championship last night between UConn and Tennessee, and somehow I managed to forget about it, completely! Didn't even THINK about it one time last night, in fact, and might not have realized it until midday if I hadn't accidentally turned on ESPEN this a.m. and seen the highlights.

Odd. I used to be a sports editor.

:: Di 10:02:00 PM [+] ::
...

New Shoes

Somehow, it seemed important that I wear new shoes today. Which, technically, was yesterday, considering we are now nearly an hour into Sunday.

Make that nearly 2 hours into Sunday, thanks to Daylight Savings Time. Which I KNOW is Daylight Saving Time, but everyone pronounces it "savings," like it's some kind of bank or something.

And all it really means, to me, is that starting tomorrow (today, actually), the days will seem longer than the nights.

I welcome that.

Brand/model: K-Swiss Ascendor 7.0. I have had these shoes for a year now; matter of fact, they were a birthday gift last year, but I had not yet taken them out of the box. Until today. They are actually tennis shoes — of course, I call almost all athletic shoes "tennis shoes" or "gym shoes" (never cared much for the word "sneakers"), but as it turns out, there are shoes made specifically for playing tennis. And for running. And even for walking ... but truthfully, the only pair of walking shoes I ever owned were remarkably UNcomfortable for walking; conversely (no pun or brand association intended!), I have found that running shoes are among the most comfortable shoes for walking.

Anyhoo, I had a pair of Ascendors last year that I was trying to break in for tennis (they are quite stiff, at first), so I took to wearing them almost all the time because they were just weird-looking enough — and reflector-ized!! — and comfy that I really liked 'em ... but not for tennis ... until they were almost to the point that they had no support left ... and now they're all grungy and what-not and PERFECT, but today (yesterday, Saturday, whenever), I wanted to wear the new ones.

I had to wear the new ones.

So, I did.

And today (Saturday) was a good day.

Amazing, sometimes, what a conversation can do. And some sunshine.

:: Di 12:55:00 AM [+] ::
...

To Love Somebody

When you love someone, really love someone ...

... all that matters is her happiness.

I have always known this, but for way too long now, I have been putting my own selfish, immature ideas about how things like this were supposed to work ahead of what I knew to be true.

Never again.

Oh, I will still be selfish and immature; those characteristics are in my nature!

: )

Regarding love, though: No.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

And better yet: It's SATURDAY!!!

: )

:: Di 12:32:00 AM [+] ::
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Spring Break 2004: Day 5

Well, fuck.

In addition to being annoyed that I am awake at this time of day, I am annoyed that I just wrote a post and had it disappear when I hit the dreaded "Post & Publish" button because my Internet server had disconnected ... something that has been happening just sporadically enough to aggravate me over the last couple of weeks.

: (

I saw The Passion of the Christ yesterday.

I wish I could write something profound about it, but I cannot. I also cannot recommend it.

The movie did a very credible job depicting the graphic brutality and violence of the final 12 hours of Jesus' life; however, I find myself wondering why someone would choose to make a movie focusing on the final 12 hours of Jesus' life — aside from taking artistic license to show the seemingly unending brutality and violence, condensed into a 2-plus-hour show.

Honestly, if I had seen one more slow-motion close-up of Jesus falling to the ground ...

Maybe I need a spirituality check-up.

Or, maybe the movie is not all that good. Or, maybe it should have taken more time to delve into some of the characters who took part in the crucifixion. Maybe it did not give enough snippets from Jesus' interaction with his mother and with his followers to give a true sense of the spirituality — the passion — of this man. This son of God.

(I also wonder why such lengths were taken to use the authentic language and English subtitles, but then to use dialogue that seemed so slang-y and inappropriate in some places.)

Maybe I just need a couple of days to think about it all.

:: Di 5:08:00 AM [+] ::
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Spring Break 2004: Day 4

Damn, I woke up too late to see most of Courtney Love's appearance on The View. Which seems about as unlikely as ... well, I can't even think of a good analogy. Or even a bad analogy.

(Courtney being on this show being the unlikely part ... not me oversleeping.)

I think Courtney is incredibly talented. And pretty. And funny as hell. And sometimes, I can't get the "Someday, you will ache like I ache" lyric from "Doll Parts" out of my head.

All of which are reasons I hope that someday, Courtney gets her shit together (re: drugs) completely.

Ooh: Edie Falco is a babe. Hmmm, maybe I didn't miss the best part of The View today. And maybe I need to break down and splurge and get me The Sopranos DVD set (or sets), finally.

Or maybe it would be easier to get HBO ... but I'd still have to get all caught up, wouldn't I?

:: Di 10:33:00 AM [+] ::
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April's Fool

I really like this time o' night.

Morning.

Whatever.

:: Di 1:04:00 AM [+] ::
...