Miss Fix-It — or Duh-uct Tape!

A couple of things most people prolly don’t know about me:

1. I enjoy being the center of attention (OK, everyone knows that!), yet I also have many anti-social tendencies.

2. I like to fix stuff — I could very easily be a DIY-kinda girl — but I really don’t like to fuck around with anything for very long.

More on No. 1 at a later time. The second point, I came face-to-face with this afternoon during a rather simple domestic repair.

Let me state, for the record, that most of the repairs/fix-its I have done are tasks that take less than 10 minutes to complete. The other day, I changed my windshield wipers — both blades! — in eight minutes flat. (All right already: Of course I did not actually time myself ... and I also did not include the time it took me to read the instructions.)

: )

One time, I fixed Margaret’s VCR in less than two minutes. No shit. She turned on the TV, turned on the VCR and showed me how the screen was all fuzzy. I pulled the VCR out from the entertainment center and flipped the channel switch on the back. Miraculously, the TV screen was perfectly clear after that.

I won’t go into detail about today’s repair, except to say that about 35 minutes into it, I realized I was not going to get the necessary components to fit together properly. I made two attempts and then decided I needed a nap. (Funny how my mind works.) Instead, though, I decided to check my e-mail and was energized by a particularly funny photo that Jaxx had sent my way.

After that, my thoughts returned to my project. And, suddenly, the solution became perfectly clear:

Duct tape!

Fortunately, I happened to have a roll in the trunk of my car. (I can tape up a busted-out car window in about six-and-a-half minutes; in fact, I have done so — twice!) I put the parts together and let them set for a few hours, and here in a little while, I will apply some duct tape to make sure it all holds together for ... well, at least a while.

: )

I once fixed my alto sax with regular scotch tape. The repair lasted for months; I bet it would have been a permanent solution had I used duct tape.