How to Cut Your Own Hair

I have been liberated.

In the span of one evening, I have gone from having long(ish) hair (OK, so it wasn’t long, at all ... but it was a couple of inches long, which, for me, IS long!) to having hair that is back to its usual less-than-half-an-inch-in-some-places length.

And: I did it myself.

And: I don’t have any bald spots.

I had been debating the whole idea of giving myself a haircut over the past few weeks. I used to cut my own hair all the time when I was in college, and I did just fine with the top and sides but could never manage to get the back part cut. Then I became an adult and had to find a “real” hairstylist, and eventually I got someone who would actually cut my hair the way I asked ... using clippers, just as I requested.

And then, well ... we parted ways, hopefully temporarily, but in the meantime: I needed a haircut. Could have gotten away with a trim, probably, but the longer/more unkempt my hair got, the more I wanted to cut it all off.

So I bought me some clippers: The CONAIR Model HC318D. Twenty bucks or thereabouts at Wally World, which actually had a small section of the store devoted to hair clippers. I selected the HC318D because of its cord/cordless feature, and it also came with 10 guard attachments, a couple of combs, “professional” scissors (well, not quite, but they DO cut) and a cape!

“I am Super Stylist!”

I read the instructions and even watched the enclosed CD: “Haircuts at Home.” Learned all I needed to know about the flatttop, the mushroom cut and the blunt cut. None of which was what I wanted to do to my own hair, however, so I actually googled the topic, “How to Cut Your Own Hair.” Ran across a couple of not-so-helpful Web sites and one particularly cool online journal, none of which was all that helpful, though the journal gave me just the boost of confidence I needed to attempt my own haircut.

I decided that Friday night was the night ... in part because I had no other plans (go figure!), and in part because I knew that if I really botched it, I would have at least a couple of days to “fix it” before I had to return to civilization (work).

I charged my HC318D for the required 16 hours. I laid out my supplies on top of the (closed) toilet. I angled the medicine cabinet door so that the mirror would reflect off the mirror on the bathroom door, allowing me to supervise myself as I cut. Or rather, clipped.

And clipped, and clipped.

And my hair turned out perfect! Well, OK, it is WAY short, the way I usually wear it, but honestly, I think it looks just as good (or at least as short) as when I have it “professionally cut.” I could not be happier!

: )

So, here is my step-by-step method to giving yourself a haircut. Keep in mind that in order to enjoy the full benefits of this haircut, you must be a girl who likes to wear your hair very, very short. Or a boy. Who also likes to wear your hair very, very short.

1. Thoroughly wet your hair and then towel dry so that your hair remains damp. Comb your hair.

2. Put the No. 3 (3/8-inch) attachment onto the clippers. In an upward motion, run the clippers through the hair above and around both ears. (My clippers have tapered guards for the left and right ears, but I was not brave enough to use them.)

3. Run the clippers through the hair on the back of your head. Make sure to watch yourself in the mirror to make sure that you are clipping your hair evenly.

4. Step back, take a quick glance into the mirror and admire how great of a job you are doing!

5. Set the clippers aside and take out the scissors. Hold up a clump of hair between the forefinger and middle finger of your left hand (or your right hand, if you happen to be left-handed) about an inch above your scalp and prepare to cut.

6. Before making an actual cut, decide that using scissors is too complicated. Set the scissors aside and attach the No. 8 (1-inch) guard onto the clippers.

7. Decide to use gravity as your assistant: Lean forward and bend over until the hair on top of your head is hanging straight down. Run the clippers through your hair until it has reached a uniform length. (This is a mighty brave step, and it is a good idea to stop and check a few times to make sure you are not inadvertently scalping yourself!)

8. Look in the mirror to be sure that your hair looks OK ... and that you have no (huge) bald patches ... and that you have not accidentally cut yourself (you and your hair should be JUST fine, provided you have halfway decent clippers). Use your scissors to trim any stray hairs along the sides, back or top of your head.

9. Remove your hair-covered clothes and begin the clean-up process, as you will likely have hair EVERYWHERE!

10. Hop into the shower to wash your freshly cut hair. Shave the back of your neck with the razor you normally use to shave your legs. Wash and dry yourself. Style hair with styling gel (optional).

There you go! Make sure you do not forget to clean your blade guards, clean and oil your blades, put away all your hair-cutting supplies (you will need them again in a couple of weeks, for your “trim”) and plug in your HC318D to recharge.

Oh, and next time: Wear the cape! Not only will it help keep you from getting COVERED with hair ... it will also make you feel a bit like a hair-cuttin’ superhero!

: )