Me, in a Nutshell

Or, perhaps, on the halfshell.

: )

I do not have a garage; hence, my car is exposed to the sometimes harsh elements of the Midwest.

Namely, bird shit.

And, if the current state of my car is any indication, the birds around here have perfected their aim using the Grand Am as target practice.

So, yesterday, as I am out driving around on a mostly perfect day, I think to myself, hmm, I should take this beast to the car wash. Not the Super Wash or the new Dirt Blaster or whatever it is called, but a real, honest-to-goodness car wash. The one with the sprayer and the foaming brush and the giant vaccuum for cleaning out the inside, too.

As I am heading back toward town, I dig through my change cup (it is supposed to be an ashtray, but there is NO SMOKING allowed in my car) and come up with about $3 in quarters. Which I know will be nowhere near enough to wash my filthy, shit-covered car (I swear, it looks as if it has been in some kind of paintball war ... and lost).

I am not saying I have to have a perfectly polished vehicle. I have actually done a pretty good job, for me, of keeping this one clean, but I am a realist. And I realize that there are certain times of the year (winter, when I am sometimes tracking snow in and out of my car, and spring, when I am sometimes tracking rain and mud in and out of my car) that I really cannot worry about keeping it spotless.

Plus, I have always believed that a thin layer of grime actually serves to protect the surface of my car.

: )

Anyhoo, I gather up my change and realize I need more for the car wash. So I decide that I will first run by the grocery store and then go back home, drop off my groceries, get more quarters and go to the car wash. Of course, after the big trip to get groceries, all I can think about is getting back home and putting them all away. Plus the game is on by then, so within moments of my arrival at home, my car-washing plans are all but forgotten.

Fast-forward to today, late this afternoon, after I have spent too long at the office and am completely exhausted, I think, hmm, maybe I will run by the car wash, finally.

And then I remember: I heard it is going to rain tomorrow. Possibly for the rest of the week.

: )