Smilin’ Moon

There’s a smilin’ moon out tonight, and I would’ve taken a picture, but ... ah, I didn’t. Maybe I’ll remember to do so tomorrow night. We’ll see.

I did shoot these this morning. After the rain.

When will I learn to appreciate, fully, the little things in life? The everyday stuff, the tiny moments, the big events, the special people, all of which/whom I tend to assume will always be there while I am (usually) busy worrying about something else?

Tonight I pray for people who are sick, or who may be, and for the people who love them. Myself included.

And I pray for cures.

April is almost here. My birthday month, the one that I always look forward to.

And in spring, hope’s eternal.

: )

Admittedly

OK, admittedly, I have been a total slacker when it comes to my bloggity blog.

In my defense, work has been extremely busy lately and I am fighting off a cold/sinus infection. And the weather has been horrible.

Not to mention the ever-annoying Blogger!

: (

OK, with all of that out of the way:

1. I have lost all interest in the NCAA Tournament ... even though it is probably one of the best NCAA Tournaments in the entire history of NCAA Tournaments.

I figure this is because I am basically OFF sports. I simply have no interest in sports. Which I find very odd and strangely disconcerting, but ... I am. OFF.

2. Except for tennis.

I had a marathon tennis session last week when our 6.5 combo league doubles team traveled to Ft. Wayne, Indiana, for the USTA Sectional Championships. And: We did not win a single match. But: We had a good time. And: We competed well in every match.

Matter of fact, all four matches that my partner and I played were winnable. Which, I suppose, should make losing all four matches even less bearable; somehow, though, all I could take from last weekend was a positive outlook on tennis.

Plus, according to my partner, one of our opponents said I was a smart player. And, according to one of my teammates who was watching our final match, other people in the audience said I moved well on the court.

A smart player! Who moves well on the court!

I am not certain such accolades have ever been attributed to me. In fact, I am pretty sure such compliments have NEVER been directed my way.

: )

OK, that is all I have for now.

BULJEMS

Ever have a day or a year or a decade in which every move you make, every thought you have seems like something straight out of the JUMBLES section on the comics page?

Hmm. Me neither.

: )

Where to begin? For starters, I actually did attempt to log-on last night and post a little something or other, but Blogger was being a beast and would not let me. Then I started to type a few words onto an e-mail to myself, telling myself that I could post it later, but then I got sidetracked doing something else. Which was probably actually nothing, if I were to be perfectly honest about it.

My thoughts seem not to want to focus on anything these days, really. Except, perhaps, memories and mighta-beens, maybe. I dunno.

I am going to play tennis tomorrow in a sorta big-deal event. I am not nervous, however, because my team is not necessarily expected to win the whole thing or anything. We are simply going there to play and compete and, hopefully, have a great time as we get to know each other a little better.

And then, last night, outta the blue, I started thinking about my ... friend? ... NiNi who died a few years back. Killed herself, actually, and I know I have written about her before, maybe in this journal, maybe in my other one, who keeps track of such things? (I do not.) Anyway, what kept me thinking of NiNi was that it was she who got me back to playing tennis, way back in the late-1980s, after I had been away from the game for a few years.

See, I liked her. I really liked her, like one of those love-at-first-sight-kinda things, although it was actually love-at-before-first-sight because I had heard all these little bits and pieces about her, and how she was basically a really fucked-up girl but very likable, yeah, everybody loved NiNi. And when I finally saw her for the very first time: Yeah, I was in love. Seriously.

Of course, I tried to let her know without really letting her know that I liked her ... which meant she probably knew all along ... but it was OK, maybe because all I really needed was to be needed, somehow, and not necessarily loved ... and she was, in her own way, quite needy sometimes. At least in terms of having my undivided attention, sometimes.

And sometimes, we played tennis, and that is what got me back into the game.

She was a person for whom I had some highly intense feelings, and I was content to revel/wallow in the ecstasy and the agony of it all for a while ... until I just could not do it any longer.

I had to get over her. And I did.

So, yeah, I know it CAN be done.

(But I also know that it is not easy.)

: (

So far, I am off to my worst start (in a history of bad starts) in the NCAA tourney. I am actually starting to feel rather glad that I probably will not be able to sit around and watch basketball for the better part of the weekend. Dammit.

: (

Big Night

All new Cold Case. Season premiere of The Sopranos (yes, the show I vowed NEVER to get hooked on). “Dana Is Dying” episode (probably) on The L Word.

Could life get ANY more exciting than this?

: )

I am really really REALLY hoping, too, that Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ new show is good. I really am.

I loved Elaine and George and Kramer SO much in Seinfeld — and yeah, OK, Jerry was pretty good, too (!!) — and I hate it that their subsequent efforts have bombed. Totally.

So, here’s to “The New Adventures of the Old Christine” ... or whatever it’s called ...

: )

Days Like These

Days like these — gray, rainy, chilly, damp, gloomy — seem perfectly suited for writing. Perhaps I should move somewhere like Seattle?

’Course, it’s s’posed to rain like this for the next 40 days or so ... so maybe I am already in the perfect climate for writing. Besides, even if I were in Seattle, I undoubtedly would find yet another reason for slacking.

: (

The word climate “climate” reminds me of the time in grade school when one of my teachers (I think it might have been Mrs. Weakly, which would have meant fourth grade, but I cannot say so for certain). Anyhoo, the teacher asked the class, “Can anyone tell me what the word ‘climate’ means?” and of course almost everyone in the class raised his or her hand, so of course the teacher (I am pretty sure it was Mrs. Weakly, now that I think about it) asked Jon, one of the students who in fact had not raised his hand.

Jon shrugged and said, “It’s like when you have a mountain, and you have to climate.”

*Puzzled expressions, all ’round*

Which reminds me of my Weather & Climate class in college. It was a four-hour course, and combined with the five-hour algebra course I took, knocked out the nine-hour math/science requirement in two classes. (I realize, now, at age 40, that I was a complete idiot for doing so. I was always good at math AND science, so I wonder what possessed me to major in journalism and minor in English? Oh, yeah: I wanted to be a writer.)

: (

Back on topic: In my Weather & Climate class, we had to give a report (written or oral) on some aspect of weather and how it related to our major. I do not recall my own topic; however, I very vividly recall the topic presented by the red-headed girl named Karen who looked like Dave Smitgens (sp?): “How Clouds Have Been Portrayed in Paintings.” (Karen also was the girl who sang that killer version of “Ghost in You” with my roommate’s boyfriend that time at the Uptowner/Cellar.) Her W&C report was most excellent: She presented a slide show and discussed various artists and their works, showing how clouds were depicted throughout the ages, and afterwards, she asked if anyone had any questions.

One guy raised his hand. “What are clouds made of?” he asked.

HUH??!

*Again: Puzzled expressions all ’round*

(“They” say there is no such thing as a stupid question. This, however, is one of the biggest lies ever told.)

Karen just looked at the guy. “Uh, did you listen to anything I said?”

(I suppose that, too, was a stupid question. Clearly, the guy had not heard one word!)

Signs

Spring is only a few days away, according to The Weather Channel.

A Conundrum

The harder you try, the harder it is.

And on an unrelated note:

I am not so sure about the dress Emma Thompson is wearing tonight on Letterman, but she looks fabulous.

: )

I just love these!

I have been waiting to shoot these.

: )

Poem on My Mind Right Now

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh

When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest, you must — but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns

And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow
You might succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far.

So stick to the fight
When you’re hardest hit
It’s when things seem worst
That you must not quit.

— Author Unknown

When I was a freshman in high school, I was on the tennis team. Actually, I was on the team all four years: I played JV tennis my freshman year (received a JV letter and the Most Improved Player award) and varsity tennis my sophomore, junior and senior years (played No. 4 varsity singles and No. 1 or 2 doubles as a sophomore, played No. 1 singles and doubles as a junior and senior, voted Most Valuable Player my junior and senior years, advanced to the IHSA State Tournament in doubles with my sister when I was a senior and she was a junior).

I did not play all that much my freshman year, but because our team was relatively small, I usually got to go to the matches — even the away matches, which were the most fun, anyway! I remember one match in particular: We lost to Neoga, and I do not recall my teammates being all that upset about it (funny how kids can shake off stuff like that much better than adults), but for some reason, our coach took it really hard. After the match, she gave us each a copy of the poem “Don’t Quit.”

It has stuck with me ever since.

Song in My Head Right Now

Stuck in a Moment

I’m not afraid
Of anything in this world
There’s nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard

I’m just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it

Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing

I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it’s tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don’t really need now
My, oh my

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

Oh love, look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm ’til you discover how deep

I wasn’t jumping, for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down to nothing at all

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It’s just a moment
This time will pass

— U2

Sooner or later, I must snap out of all this. Seriously.