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Get a good look: This is one of the few times you will ever see my sister and me with barrettes in our hair! (I believe we are approximately 2 and 3 here ... which was about the last time I was taller than she!)

This has been a perfectly slackerrific afternoon; in fact, I had big plans of taking a nice, long nap ... and then the sky started darkening and rumbling, and you could just tell it really wanted to rain ... which made me desire nappage even more.

Then I remembered the car window was down. Then I kept thinking of items I need to pick up at Wally World (60-watt light bulbs, cat food, padded evelopes) later. Then I wondered: Do I want to go to the Sesser Homecoming Parade at 4? Then I thought of a few topics about which I have some random thoughts and might want to write ...

And then, before I knew it, I was out here in the living room, re-downloading software for my scanner ’cause it was refusing to perform properly. After that, I had to edit a couple of photos — and by this time, naturally, the rain is coming down and the thunder is booming just perfectly for an afternoon nap.

This is the first weekend in, like, forever that I haven’t had A Plan — or, if not a specific schedule, something that I absolutely had to do. Not that I’m complaining about having things to do and people to see (or is that things to see and people to do? : )) — matter of fact, most times, that is the only way to get something accomplished, really: Write it on the calendar (now that I am no longer a sports editor, I never write anything on my calendar) or commit it to your mental Things to Do list or whatever it takes so you know, on this date, I have A Plan.

: )

Life feels exciting right now. I believe, in my heart, that this is because I have let go of the sadness and feelings of rejection that had been kicking my ass for several weeks (years?) and because I have embraced the notion of allowing myself to open up my heart and my soul and my mind to the possibility of loving the people I love as much as I possibly can love them. Sort of a no-holds-barred approach, which is rather unlike me.

After all:

Apathy is bliss ... no?! And every word to “I Am a Rock” ... right?!

I read this post by Kelly a few weeks ago, and it cut right through, as her words often do ... and I tried to comment on it, but — wouldn’t you know it? — Blogger (hehe, I just typed “Blooger”!) refused to cooperate ... and then I tried to write about the topic, myself, and I got sidetracked by something.

Mostly, I don’t want anyone I know and love to doubt that I love them. Hey, they might not love me the exact same as I love them — who knows, they might not even like me that much; it might be one of those cases in which, yeah, they realize that, somewhere, deep down inside: OK, yeah, I sorta love Di, but godDAMN, could she be any more annoying sometimes?

And, really, how often do we truly love each other the exact same amount? Seems to me that almost all relationships have varying levels, various states of equilibrium. We all give and take what we can, and sometimes, we find that balance.

At this moment, I am alone. I am listening to my Bruce! CD (song: “Lea”) and thinking that it is already one of my favorite albums, and I am writing. Later today and tomorrow, I will be surrounded by people I know and love — and, yeah, they know it! After that, back to work, and along with everything, I will see more people I know and love, out there in the real world and out here in the virtual world and everywhere in-between.

I keep thinking that, of all the things I could possibly be doing (well, almost all of the things; there are at least a few that take precedence, and no, I will NOT elaborate because, well, I’m trying to keep this bloggie as close as humanly fucking possible to being PG-rated!) at any given moment, I would most like to be playing catch or badminton out in the yard with my sister.