9-11

Now playing: “Worlds Apart” on The Rising by Bruce Springsteen. Aside from a little “Mr. Bojangles” by Nina Simone this a.m., the Boss’s CD is the only one I have been listening to today.

I hold you in my arms,
yeah, that’s when it starts
I seek faith in your kiss
and comfort in your heart
I taste the seed upon your lips,
lay my tongue upon your scars
But when I look into your eyes,
we stand worlds apart

This CD came out in July of 2002. I was still numb then, not necessarily from the events of Sept. 11, 2001, but from the course of my life over the few months that followed, and the first song that grabbed ’hold of me and simply would not let go was “Empty Sky,” mainly because I had an empty heart ... OK, not empty, but torn and twisted. And then, a couple of months later, I began to rebuild and rejuvenate and realize that yes, indeed, miracles DO happen ... and wouldn’t you know it, Bruce even has a song called “Countin’ on a Miracle” on this album, too, so there ya go.

: )

And 3 years after the original 9-11, I finally officially have something HAPPY to remember this day for: My partner, The Lovely, and I are the 2004 Benton Pizza Hut Open Women’s Open Doubles Champions. And if you think it was easy ... well, think again.

We start out the day at 10 a.m. going up against the No. 2 doubles team on the juco team my partner coaches. We like our chances, too, but next thing we know, we are down in the first set and end up losing it 6-4. And the second set is close until we finally edge ahead (heck, I don’t really remember exactly how it went; I think we edged ahead, but it’s been a long-ass day, so who knows, really). Anyway, we end up winning 6-4, and then it’s on to The Super Tiebreak. Which is different from The Regular Tiebreak (first to 7 points, win by 2) because in TST, it’s the first to 10.

Somehow, though, we manage to fall behind by a few points, only to come roaring back to go up 8-7 — with me serving — and I really have not been “nervous” all match long, to this point, but suddenly, with the match literally on my racket, I did feel a few butterflies.

We win the next 2 points and the match. On to the finals!

This time, though, we get to play the No. 1 doubles team. (Note from the author: The average combined age of the teams we played today is 38; the average combined age of my partner and me is 97.) And we start out a little like we did in the first match: behind. But we are competitive, and we keep it close before losing the set 6-4. Then, in the second, we jump out to a 3-0 lead, and later we are ahead 5-2 before THEY come roaring back ... and next thing we know, they are AHEAD, 6-5.

And for me, the second set is particularly strange because I keep feeling REALLY nervous-like, as if I cannot get my second wind and my legs do not wanna move ... but somehow, I keep hitting the ball (not always ONTO the court or OUT of the net, however), and we score some points.

And somehow, we tie the set and head into a regular 7-point tiebreaker ... and we manage to win it, 7-5. Which means we get to play The Super Tiebreak, again — this time, to decide the championship! (And by now, I am REALLLLLLLLY nervous!)

As we get going, though, it seems as if our opponents are a little more nervous than we are. (Too young to know better, perhaps?) And we go ahead, and before we know it, we are up 9-5 with my partner serving match point!

The other team wins the point, but I keep telling myself, OK, we still have a match point ... and after a short exchange, I get a short overhead and angle a winner to the left doubles alley!

I hug my partner and shake hands with our opponents, and then, when we sit on the bench, I get actual TEARS in my eyes because — well, what the hell, it has been a long, LONG time since I have won a tournament. And I cannot even remember the last time my partner and I have won a tournament together, so that makes it especially special. And nice.

And at this moment, I love the fact that moments like these can bring tears to my eyes.

And later this night, after watching Svetlana Kuznetsova defeat Elena Dementieva to become the first Russian woman to win the U.S. Open, I suddenly get over my irritation from the previous day (that no American woman would be playing in the final) and find myself crying, once again, when, during the trophy presentation, Elena asks for another moment of silence to honor the Americans killed on Sept. 11, 2001, and the Russians killed on Sept. 4, 2004 ... and then Svetlana dedicates her victory to those same victims.

And for a moment — between this day and my beautiful life in general — I can honestly believe that there is, indeed, hope for a better world.

: )

And in-between the two tennis tournaments, I took pictures of roses. And thought of Le Petit Prince as I did so.