Losing My Religion

No, I am not going to quote that R.E.M. song, though I do have it running through my noggin right about now, mostly because I listened to my R.E.M. mix tonight, to and from dinner and the mall, whilst driving up and down I-57, on a moonless night that, at different points along the drive back, seemed dark as any night I can ever remember.

These are the songs on my R.E.M. mix, which did not include at least a couple of their songs that I really really like (“It’s the End of the World as We Know It [And I Feel Fine]” and “Shiny Happy People”) simply because I did not have them downloaded or on CD when I made the mix:

1. At My most Beautiful
2. So. Central Rain (I’m Sorry)
3. Time after Time (Annelise)
4. (Don’t Go Back to) Rockville
5. Cuyahoga
6. Everybody Hurts
7. All the Right Friends
8. Hope
9. Man on the Moon
10. Losing My Religion
11. Sweetness Follows
12. Superman

I am not sure these are in the order they appear on the mix. I mean, I am sure about 1 through 7, and 11 and 12, but honestly, the CD is out in my car, and I am not going to go get it just to check.

Songs 2 through 5, and “Superman” are especially important to me because they are from the Reckoning and Lifes Rich Pageant albums that meant so much when I was in college, hanging out at the Uptowner/Cellar, where they played Reckoning ALL the time (on cassette tape, I believe!). And I remember Lifes songs because someone, somewhere, played them at after-bars parties. Not that I went to all that many: By the time the bars closed, I was usually ready to call it a night, but occasionally ... yeah.

: )

My favorite REM song, at this moment and for probably the last 3 years, is “At My Most Beautiful.”

I quoted lyrics to her, once: “I count your eyelashes ...”

A bit of pleasure followed, and then mucho pain ensued. Months of it.

She quoted lyrics to me, another time: “You always listen carefully/to awkward rhymes/You always say your name/like I wouldn’t know it’s you ...”

(At your most beautiful.)

I will always love that song. Always.

I’ve found a way to make you/I’ve found a way/a way to make you smile.

That was all I ever wanted to do, really.

: )

I keep wanting to get political, but I simply cannot muster the strength. Nor the words.

: )

I started watching To Kill a Mockingbird today, and already I love it, though it is different, in some ways, from the book. I have decided the girl who plays Scout looks almost exactly like my mother, when Mom was a little girl. In this one particular picture that I happened upon a couple of summers ago.

This makes me smile.