Would've, Could've, Should've

(Definitely NOT would of, could of or should of.)

Should I be annoyed when I tell my mom how annoyed I have been the last couple of days and she replies by saying, “Oh, well; that’s life”?

Should I be aggravated when, for some unknown reason, I am unable to get the link for the recent Lotto numbers to work?

Should I be hopeful? Optimistic? Upbeat? And if so: Why?

Tennis makes everything better.

No truer words have ever been spoken.

I came out of my quasi-hibernation yesterday, following what can only be described as a hideous day at the office and feeling as if I were in one of THE worst moods possible. One set of doubles (in which we were victorious, by the way!) and my mental, emotional and physical outlook had taken a 180-degree turn.

: )

I happened upon this mix CD I had made sometime in 2002. “The Lost Year,” I call it. (NOT the CD, the actual year.) The mix is titled “Eighties Mix, sorta,” and these are the songs:

1. The Horse (Cliff Nobles & Co.)
2. More Than a Feeling (Boston)
3. Under Pressure (Queen with David Bowie ... or vice-versa?)
4. I Promise You (When in Rome)
5. Only You (live version, Allison Moyet/Yaz)
6. Doot-Doot Song (Freuer)
7. No Reply at All (Genesis)
8. Melt with You (Modern English)
9. Point of No Return (Nu Shooz)
10. Joey (acoustic version, Concrete Blonde)
11. I’d Love You to Want Me (Lobo)
12. Here Comes the Sun (live version, George Harrison and Paul Simon)
13. Nobody’s Diary (extended version, Yaz)
14. Don’t Get Me Wrong (The Pretenders)
15. She Blinded Me with Science (Thomas Dolby)
16. Purple Rain (Prince and the Revolution)

I was ecstatic when I discovered this completely forgotten-about mix, tucked away in a “Best of the ’80s: Volume 7” CD that contains such gems as “Heaven” by the Eurogliders and “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” by the Culture Club. Anyhoo, the mix is all I have been able to listen to this week ... though, admittedly, there are songs from the 1960s (“The Horse,” which is a song we used to jam to before parades) AND the 1970s (Boston and Lobo songs must be from that era).

And I still love “Melt with You,” despite Burger King’s attempt to ruin it.

There’s nothing you and Di won’t do ...

: )

Speaking of my pal Patti:

How rare and cool when someone who knows you, through and through, has no idea that you are in the midst of a really crappy day but somehow manages to brighten that day by sending you a photo of her kids, who are displaying the little metal case in which their Easter M&M’s arrived as part of a shot titled “Buns of Steel”?

(Sorry: No posting here. But trust me when I tell you, the photo is priceless. Even more so because she told me that her kids were just dying to send me the picture!)

: )

But, so as not to go without posting a photo or 2 today, I will include these shots from a couple of visitors that stop by my house, looking for food, every so often. Not sure of the breeds, but I always think of these 2 as The Odd Couple. And they always make me smile when they come trotting by.





I noticed the black doggie was lifting his right hind leg when he ran. Then, after they finished sniffing around the neighbor’s yard (top photo), they went bounding toward the front and then darted across North Main Street!

* Another mystery of the universe, solved! *

And this evening, another mystery: What’s for dinner??!

For the Birds

Seems The Lovely has a couple of cardinals of her own. And I, in my continual quest to shoot birds and various other wildlife, find myself mildly obsessed with these birds.

Not that I am going to turn into a birdwatcher anytime soon. Although some of my favorite Northern Exposure scenes included Holling and Ruth Ann and their birdwatching adventures. Yet, I do have a thing for cardinals ... especially now that I have realized they are NOT easy.

(Grandma Ginny adored redbirds, too; that could be part of it.)

Cardinals are flighty (no pun intended), especially the females, it seems. Difficult as it is to get a good, clear shot of one of the males, it is even harder to shoot the females.

Today was an adventure. Work sucked, and afterwards, I found myself doing laundry and looking in a killer Chihuahua. And trying to take pictures of this particular cardinal.



This one flitted in after some bread that I had tossed into the back yard. And then some ill-fated macaroni and cheese (and broccoli!) that I basically ruined by putting in too much milk.

This evening, I went back and was telling of my escapades, and suddenly I looked out the front window: There was the cardinal, once again! And me, without my camera (for the moment)!



I gotta find me a new hobby.

: )

Crabby Monday

Why is it that some people seem compelled to try to tell me what to do? Or, more specifically, to tell me how I should be doing things?

To borrow a phrase from Rita Mae Brown, one of my favorite authors:

That just tears my ass with boredom.

(OK, so it doesn’t make all that much sense to me, either, but if Rita Mae says it: It must be so!)

: )

A note on Rita Mae:

I wrote her a letter when I was in high school. I’m pretty sure I had read Southern Discomfort and had probably snuck in a copy of Rubyfruit Jungle also. (Auntie Vesta, of course, would be telling me, this minute, that “There’s no such word as ‘snuck’!” Which would mean using the word “sneaked,” which sounds just totally wrong!)

Anyhoo, I wrote Rita Mae a fan letter — and she actually wrote back! Not a long letter or anything, but a neat little note, typed on a white postcard, which she had signed. And, like all mementos and material items that are extremely important to me, I have no idea where that note ever got to ... and God help me if my mom ever put it away for safe keeping ’cause that means it is lost, forever.

I do remember, though, that I had asked Rita Mae if she had any advice for aspiring authors, and she replied by saying something about finding your own voice and being true to your story.

: )

I did not create a post today to praise anyone, however; I logged in to rant, dammit!

(Funny how the irritation vanishes [sometimes!] when I sit down to write about it.)

Full Moon Tonight

I found my own personal observatory. And I believe I heard coyotes howling whilst I set up my cameras!

Sunbathing

Today, after having sketti for brunch (!!!), I sneak out to the lake, for the sun is shining and despite the nippy chill in the air, the weather is perfect, really.

Near one of the Marcums, I happen upon some sunbathers:



There are several turtles lying on the fallen trees, and all but these 2 slip into the water when they see or (hear) me approach. I leave for a few minutes and then return, only to see some of the turtles back on their perches, with a heron standing nearby. The bird flies off when it sees me, but I snap a couple of shots of the turtles that remain.

Meanwhile, my quest for dogwood continues:

Week's End

How is it that I can take off work Monday and leave work early Thursday and yet, come Friday, feel absolutely exhausted ... even after taking an approximately 3-hour nap to make up for the lack of sleep the night before last??!

Great sleepin’ weather, though, last night and this evening. Thunderstorm, and today, howling wind/drizzle. Snuggle up!

These are what the clouds looked like this afternoon (adjust browser settings if you do not see any green in these clouds ... ’cause believe me, there was definitely some green):



We heard on the scanner that there was a waterspout over Rend Lake. So I grabbed the camera and headed out the door.

“Be careful!” my co-worker Michelle warned. “What are you going to do if you see a tornado or get into bad weather before you get up there?”

“Well, then, I’ll do what I’ve always been told to do in situations like that,” I said: “I will bend over and kiss my ass good-bye!”

: )

After I took a good look at the sky, however, I decided to stay put. Then came the deluge.

“Decided not to go, huh?” Michelle said. “Decided it might be too dangerous?”

“Nah,” I said. “I just didn’t want to get wet!”

: )

This is the sky the night of my birthday:



My car, this morning, with the new custom seed-pod design:



And this is from the other day, courtesy of Donald & Virginia:



Believe it or not, I planted some flowers of my own: 8 geraniums (red and white w/red edges), 4 hibiscuses of varying colors, 2 habaneros and 1 African daisy. Of course, it might freeze tomorrow night, so hopefully I will remember to bring them inside.

Photos? Perhaps, someday.

: )

Forté

And so, the day arrived with very little fanfare ... well, OK, there was some fanfare: a few early phone calls, a couple of clever newspaper ads — including one with the Grim Reaper and the number 40, only instead of the zero, MY FACE! But aside from just knowing that this was the big day, I have to admit it could have been like any other day.

And then, tonight, an unexpected (but secretly hoped-for) call from a girl who, for a while there, I thought I might never hear from again, and suddenly: I realize, again, how incredibly awesome life is. And how, yeah, from time to time, I can get caught up in the daily routine, and wonder if the path I am on is the one I am meant to travel, and question and analyze everything I do and have done and might do ... but then, after a few hours spent with people who really, really love me and after a few minutes spent talking to someone who is, now and forever, in my heart, I am absolutely in awe and in love with my life and everyone in it.

: )

I had a moment today, just after I had showered and suddenly realized that I had “officially” reached my fortieth birthday: I decided, all at once, that I am not forty — I am forté. Which, if memory serves me correctly (at my advanced age and all), in music, means loud. And, I think, in everyday life means something you are good at — as in: Tennis is something I play on a regular basis, but badminton is my forté.

See? Doesn’t that sound way cooler than forty?

God, I rule my fucking world.

: )

I feel good. Tired. Content. Optimistic. Happy. Inspired.

I even feel a little taller. How in the world did THAT happen??!

Sleepy

Good day. Great party. Too tired to write about it, though. Or anything else, for that matter.

Which is not to say I do not have a lot on my mind.

Maybe tomorrow ...

: )

From this evening:

Make a Wish

My very first birthday party. Aunt Janie is holding my birthday cake, and Dad is holding me. (I am pretty certain Mom took the picture, probably using her Brownie camera.)

I did not seem to mind wearing a dress back then.

What the Fuck Was I Thinking?

I am now 3 hours in doing my taxes for 2004. Via H&R Block, online.

I could have had them completed in 45 minutes, tops, if I had done them on paper.

* Rolling my eyes, shaking my head and realizing I really, really need some sleep *

: )

Down to 3 more days of being a thirtysomething. I believe I am OK with this, but it does seem a bit odd to realize that, come Monday, I am 40. Sounds really different, somehow.

Meanwhile, I renewed my driver’s license today. And it was not nearly as stressful as I might have imagined because, for starters, there were no tests involved, except for vision, for which there was no point in me even attempting to read the chart without my glasses on.

I was at an advantage because I live catty-corner from the driver’s license place, so I could sorta keep tabs on when it appeared to be busy. I went at about 3 p.m., and there were only 3 people signed in ahead of me, plus 2 guys at the counter. I plopped down, whipped out my notebook and jotted a few paragraphs for Saturday’s column.

Meanwhile, this older man was acting all confused about the signing-in process, after he had basically marched up to the counter and tried to demand that someone wait on him. He was told to sign his name on the sheet (they used to make you take a number), and then he proceeded to pace back and forth. When one of the women working there told him to have a seat, he claimed that they had waited on 4 other people ahead of him.

And I’m thinking, Yeah: The 2 men who were at the counter, and 2 of the 3 people who were ahead of him on the list!

One from the Archives

One of my favorite portraits, ever.



Puppy Love

We were all a lot younger then.

: )

This was taken one evening near the South Sandusky boat ramp at Rend Lake. The photo was published in one of our tourism guides, and then I matted it and put it in a frame and gave it to Granny Corse. I also had an 11-by-14 print made, but it did not look as good as the smaller version. (Proving that bigger is not necessarily better?)

The photo ended up amongst Granny Corse’s stuff, God knows where in-between 3 or 4 moves, the final one taking her to a nursing home, where she died last year. Or perhaps she actually died in a hospital, I don’t know; unfortunately, my somewhat brief friendship with her ended several years before she died. By her choice, or perhaps out of necessity; again, I don’t know.

I remember thinking about the photo during one of those moves and wondering if I would ever see it again. Because if I did, I wanted it.

What Today Feels Like

This, mostly.

Correction

I had the charges wrong in a previous post. Not wrong, actually, but incomplete.

Should have been this:

• 1 count of open burning
• 2 counts of accumulation of junk
• 1 count of excessive weed growth
• 1 count of animal at large

I had forgotten that last charge. It is the one that makes me wonder; I mean, there is a world of difference between having, say, a ferret at large and having a 20-foot alligator at large.

But I am not an investigative enough journalist to want to find out what kind of animal it is/was.

Matter of fact, these days, I am not all that interested in anything, really.

(I blame it on the time change. And impendingly turning 40.)

Although moments in a day make me smile. Like just now, in chat, when my mom was telling me about a cousin of her uncle’s but how she doesn’t really know the woman and how the woman “doesn’t know me from a load of hay.”

Hehe: A load of HAY!

I used to think Grandma Ginny was the queen of the clever phrase, but now I am starting to think my mom is. I suppose because Mom is so low-key about it; I mean, while I am someone who works VERY hard at being clever in real life (yes, believe it or not, folks, it actually takes some effort ... and a healthy amount of sarcasm ... and someone who “gets” what you are trying to say to begin with), my mom can just toss stuff out there, occasionally, and it is almost as if she did not even notice that it was something funny!

Anyway, I am feeling quite boring right now. NOT that there’s anything wrong with that, necessarily.

Bird on a Wire

Or perhaps a TV antenna.



I have been a bit fixated on/obsessed with flowers lately. For about a year now, if I am completely honest. Actually, ever since our trip to Colorado back in 2002; no, wait: the trip to Giverny in 2001. That is when I started getting a little snap-happy.

Sometimes when I am shooting flowers, I notice birds. Particularly cardinals — mainly because they are so pretty, but also because they have a very distinct whistle or chirp or call or whatever it is that birds do. (Something I read somewhere, recently, referred to it as “yapping.” Which could be accurate!)

A few winters ago, after an all-night snow, I looked out my living-room window and saw a couple of redbirds, male and female, hopping around on the whiteness. Unfortunately, I had no color film, so the photo went unshot. And became one of the photos I will always wish I could have taken.

(Among the others are countless sunsets, certain moonrises, an Abraham Lincoln impersonator pushing a shopping cart through the produce section of the local IGA store in The Ville, and Jo Jo Johnson [the best h.s. basketball player I have ever seen] launching a baseline jump shot whilst standing on the chest of one of his top rivals, who had been knocked down, flat on his back, when he was trying to guard Jo Jo.)

Many springs ago, when I had lived in this town and my very first apartment for about 8 months, I kept noticing pieces of straw and clumps of mud on my porch every morning when I left for work. Sometimes I would kick it out of the way; other times I would leave it, but by the time I returned, the straw and mud was always gone.

It never occurred to me to look UP.

A couple of weeks later, I heard this strange chirping sound. I stepped out onto my porch and looked up (finally!) in the direction the chirping was coming from. There, I saw a nest, and just above it, I could see 4 or 5 tiny beaks.

I tried to take some pictures of the baby birds, but I had not been a photographer all that long and my knowledge of macro shooting was non-existent; hence, I ended up with a bunch of shots of blurry beaks mixed in with pieces of straw and clumps of mud.

I always sort of admired how efficiently those birdies went about building that nest. Today, when I left the news office, I was reminded of this when I saw a couple of birds perched on the sign at the news office, pieces of grass and string clasped between their beaks.

: )

In the meantime, some elusive cardinals came close enough for me to capture them, digitally, yesterday.

Humpday

If every case were as exciting as this one appears to be, I would spend every waking moment in the county courthouse:

• 1 count of open burning
• 2 counts of accumulation of junk
• 1 count of excessive weed growth

: )

Just back from a visit to Wal-Jack. Make that SUPER Wal-Jack. Primarily because they carry the 12-pack toilet paper that I adore.

(Heh. I am kidding about adoring T.P.; I do, however, adore NEVER running out of T.P.; hence, the 12-pack.)

As I am leaving the store, I think I hear someone yell, “Hey!” I take a quick glance around, assume that I am not the one being spoken to, and continue to wheel my merchandise toward the exit.

Then this woman comes running up behind me. “Hey!” Immediately, I recognize her as someone who briefly was in charge of one of the departments in which I dabbled during my career as a college instructor.

“I can’t remember your name, but I wanted to say hi!” she tells me.

“Hi! How are you doing, Linda?” I tell her ... and then, the rest of our 10 seconds together, I am saying to myself, Her name is Linda, right?

“How is everything going? Are you doing OK?” she asks.

“Sure!”

“Good. Well, I just wanted to say hi!” she says, and she turns to go back to her cart — which I suddenly realize is still in the checkout lane, as she apparently was in the middle of paying for her stuff.

(I have to admit: If that were me, and I saw someone whose name I could not remember go walking by at just that instant, I very likely would have let them walk on by. But that’s just me, I guess.)

: )

I think these are weeds, but they look pretty up close.

White Tulips

From Donald & Virginia’s flower bed:

A Good Evening

There are few events more enjoyable than an evening spent with good friends.

We should do this more often.

Plus I won $15 in a Pick the Score contest during the Louisville-Illinois game. And I am on track to pick up another three 5-spots in the Michigan State-North Carolina contest.

I RULE!

* Raising arm in the air, a la Lester Burnham *

: )

Song in my head, right now (actually, I just linked to some midi-version of the song, so an instrumental version is playing, right now ... so I guess it really is not in my head, but in my ears ... but that is beside the point, really): “I’d Really Love to See You Tonight” by England Dan & John Ford Coley.

Mostly this part:

I’m not talking ’bout moving in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowing
The stars are out
And I’d really love to see you tonight

Because, yeah, I would.

: )

The funniest part about this particular song is that, every time I listen to it, instead of this:

I’m not talking ’bout moving in

I hear this:

I’m not talking ’bout Bolivia

Which, all things considered, adds even more to the entire equation.

Opening Day

... is still 2 days away. And in the meantime: Go, Illini!

: )

Yes, I will be watching the game. Yes, I will be enjoying a half-order of nachos fiesta whilst watching the game.

But just to keep my mind on the reality of spring and the possibility of baseball glory:



Of course, the backside of the hat is my favorite:



Go, Cubbies!

: )

Had some more thoughts on fairness this a.m.

Grandma Evelyn always believed in fairness. Whenever I got a toy, Debra got a toy, and vice-versa. When we got bikes for our birthdays, we both got our bikes on my birthday, or on her birthday. None of this making the other kid wait until her birthday, even though our birthdays were only 13 months apart.

: )

Totally unrelated, dream-induced tangent:

We are standing together, a little too close (closely?), perhaps, and you tell me you are playing golf at 3 p.m. And it is now 1:35 p.m. And I think about this, and I ask, “When you play golf, do you drink while you’re playing? Will you be tipsy when you return?”

And you look at me and smile, and ask, “Do you want me to be tipsy when I return?”

And I think about the possibilities, and I smile and say, “Oh, no. Not necessarily.” But you know what I really mean.

T.G.I.F.

More blue ...



We had a discussion today, at work — where I spent 10 hours, which was approximately 4 hours too much time to have yer ass in a chair while you are staring at a computer screen (and yet: here I sit, again!) — about “fairness.” About which I stated, as I have many times before: Life is not fair.

And anyway: Where do people get the idea that life is fair?

“Your parents don’t teach you that life is fair,” I told my friend Ginger, who wondered if the girls whose teams are competing against mine in The Amazing Race thought that it wasn’t fair that my team had won, last time. “I mean, think about it: Your brother got to do all kinds of things that you didn’t get to do, simply because he’s older and he’s a boy.”

“That’s true,” Ginger said. “Just like I got away with certain things because I’m a girl.”

“And the baby!”

“Yeah!”

: )

On a different tangent: I am rewatching Soldier’s Girl. Such a beautiful film. Beautiful, beautiful love story.

: )

Rained today, just like The Weather Channel said it would.