Poison ivy sucks ass.

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Except to note that, approximately one full week since I first noticed those three mysterious little bumps that I thought were insect bites (mosquito or possibly spider) on my left wrist/forearm, the poison ivy/oak/sumac appears to be healing.

And I will admit I have tried a little of everything in my quest for a cure:

1. Hydrogen peroxide — I thought this would dry out the poison, but it really didn’t seem to help much. Also, I would not recommend this early on when the urushiol could possibly still be present, as the bubbling action of the peroxide could help spread the poison.

: (

2. Calamine lotion — A co-worker of mine who claims to have once had poison ivy everywhere let me dab some of this on my arm. Seemed to help the sooth the itch slightly.

3. Nyquil Cough — I had noticed this had an antihistamine in it, so I thought, there’s only one dose left, what the heck? Not sure if it helped quell the itch at all, but I sure slept like a baby the night I took it! (For the record: Regular-flavored Nyquil also sucks ass. Make sure you get the cherry-flavored kind, or else don’t even bother!)

: )

4. Benadryl spray — I bought this last year for mosquito or chigger bites (I don’t remember which), and it didn’t seem to help much then. Or with the poison ivy. Mostly it’s just sticky.

5. Gold Bond Medicated Powder — I use the kind in the green container. Early on, I sprayed some of the Benadryl on my arm and would then apply some of the Gold Bond powder. Quite messy, but it seemed to calm the itch.

6. Ivarest — I bought a bottle of this stuff for a couple of bucks at Wal-Mart, which also offered poison ivy “remedies” costing $33 and $28. The Ivarest seemed to be your basic calamine lotion but had the appearance of makeup! Helped sooth the itch a little, but very messy and came with a disclaimer that it could stain fabric.

7. Baking soda — One of the Web sites I visited advised poison ivy sufferers to soak in a bath of baking soda and let it “leech the poison out of your system.” Well, for starters, I do not have a bath tub, so I opted for soaking my arm in a sink full of baking soda and warm water. Seemed to make my skin feel a little better. Oh, and the site also said to make a “paste” of baking soda and water and apply that to the affected areas of skin; I did this, and by the time I had driven from The Lovely’s house to my house, the so-called paste had flaked off my arm and all over my shirt and the floorboard of my car! (Pretty cheap remedy, though: 67 cents at Wal-Jack!)

: o

8. Isopropyl rubbing alcohol — Appeared to help dry out the skin. Another relatively cheap home remedy.

9. Ivy Dry — This IS your mother’s poison ivy remedy! Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it at Wally-World during my first venture and didn’t get any until I stopped by CVS last weekend. This stuff WILL dry your skin and it DOES burn like fire (for a few seconds after application), but it works. My sister used it 25 years ago when she had poison ivy so bad she couldn’t sleep at night, and, obviously, it’s still around today.

10. Benadryl allergy pills — I am breathing better at the moment than I have all year, and I truly believe I have these pills to thank. OK, so perhaps that has nothing to do with poison ivy ... but I think this stuff, in combination with the Ivy Dry, has substantially reduced the itching. Plus, these are hands-down the most colorful pills I have ever taken! (May cause drowsiness, however ... which is not necessarily a bad thing!)

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