Field Notes: Arizona 3

Saturday, May 6, 2006

Yeah, they look pretty, but cacti are to be feared. ALL cacti.

I should have learned my lesson years ago when my pals and I ventured to Vegas over Christmas break. After doing the casino thing and the buffet thing (but, oddly, not the show thing; oh well!), we decided to do the Hoover Dam thing. En route, we stopped to take some pictures of ourselves with some of the cactus plants growing along the side of the road.

The Lovely and I positioned ourselves right behind a picturesque waist-high cactus but were then instructed by our photographer to move closer to the plant. I did so and was immediately jabbed in the left thigh by one of the cactus’ spines! (I am convinced the cactus actually reached out and stabbed me! Drew blood, even — through my jeans!)

: (

Last Saturday, my first full day in Tucson, I decide to drive over to the Saguaro National Park-East — which, note to travelers: has a paved loop drive, as opposed to the unpaved and hideously bumpy unpaved loop drive at SNP-West. Seems the saguaro cacti are blooming, which apparently is a pretty big deal (and rather pretty; more on those later).

I count several varieties of cacti in the SNP-East, but the only one whose name I know is the saguaro. I find one kind of plant that I nickname “rasta cactus” because, well, its branches are all unruly and sorta wild in a kinky-kinda way; its spines are cool, too.

Then I seek out cactus blooms and find some plants that are just about to open.

And on another rasta plant, I see blooms, also, and I want to get a close-up shot, but the angle of the blooms and the branches and the spines make it virtually impossible for me to reach in to take a picture. I can do this, I tell myself, so I hold the camera in my left hand and reach through with my right and, somehow, snap a couple of shots.

A few seconds later, I realize that the right sleeve of my T-shirt has cactus needles all inside it, and they are poking my bicep. And they sting!

Plus I have them in my left hand. Ouch!

Turns out, more than a week later, I still have a couple of cactus spines in fingers on my left hand and one embedded in my right palm. They do not hurt now, and I figure they will eventually work themselves out, just like splinters. Just like any other minor yet painful annoyance in life.

However, I have decided that the cactus is the perfect “Fuck off!” plant. Bottom-line: You canNOT fuck around with a cactus; you WILL get hurt.

(If anyone ever gives you a cactus as a gift, you know what they are REALLY trying to say.)

: )