Dances with Dreams

“I am in mourning.” — Stands with a Fist in Dances with Wolves

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Maybe it’s a geographical thing and I am simply not yet ready to dust the Southwest out of my soul.

Maybe it’s the news of the unexpected death of a longtime acquaintance, a woman who took the time and effort to be nice to me, every time I saw her.

Maybe it’s the realization and, perhaps more importantly, the acceptance of the end of the ... what the fuck do I call it? The relationship? The friendship? Six years later and I still have no idea what to refer to her/me/us as.

(Much as I don’t want it to, this one hurts the most.)

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Even in mourning, though, I refuse to see only sadness.

At the moment, I am printing Arizona photos for one of my co-workers. I know her well enough to know that it took a lot for her to ask me for them; she doesn’t know me (quite) well enough to know how honored I am that she asked. Yet, I am.

And tomorrow I am going to a baseball game.

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“But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again.” — Terence Mann in Field of Dreams

(Hmmm, any coincidence that both films I quoted were Kevin Costner movies? I think not.)

: )